I can't stay at a hotel for more than one night, so I've already booked in another, just to taste it. And I'm going to torture a man.
This chap. I've commissioned him, for life, to show me every street and shop in Phnom Penh.
This is his tuk-tuk and it is essentially a slow motorbike with a cabin on the back.
But first we have to stop at the local fountain to pinch some water for his radiator.
Hey, look - they stole our Queen.
And they have angled car parking bays, like us, too.
You hear a lot about The French Architectural style here because of history and things like that, which means when you build a new building you are forced to quote 'the local vernacular' which is probably what this building is doing.
And the outcome is good. Someone built a sponge cake and then a proper patissiere has sculptured and decorated it afterwards.
OK, we're getting more shoppy now. I took this photo because I thought 'Ha! Elephant!'.
Only later did I read it more closely.
I should definitely leave the food photography to the experts, but I want to develop a pathology of photographing everything I eat, like the wrongly-accused savant caught with a murder weapon in his barn, brought to us by Midsomer Barnaby.
Moving on, Mr Tuk-tuk.
Pyjama ladies 1 & 2.
Due to the horrific, international oppression of men, only women are allowed to wear comfortable and colourful clothes to work.
End of Part 2
Here's a tip. Wherever you are, ask to be shown the embassy precinct.
Here you'll always find the best residential architecture.
If you're a diplomat you're always going to justify being in the part of town where people don't hack your arm off with a rusty KA-BAR.
And because you're 1,500 miles away from the taxpayer who is funding your party, you can always pretend that you are.
So if you get a chance to go to a party with Barack Obama and U2's Bonobo and advance your career in media and politics, put your hand up for this important, diplomatic work.
If it's a funeral for Nelson Mandela - even better. You'll be under no pressure to politically perform for your country so you can just get drunk and slip Oprah Winfrey your business card.